734.464.7810

Practicing Self-Compassion While Grieving

Jul 5, 2023

Nikki Scott, Angela Hospice Grief Care Counselor, DSW, LMSW, CAGCS, C.B.T.

It’s normal if you haven’t heard the terms “self-compassion” or “self-kindness” before. Most humans are hardwired to be self-critical or self-deprecating instead of kind to themselves. However, practicing self-compassion and self-kindness is essential for us and our overall
wellness, especially while grieving.

Although originally rooted in Buddhism, Dr. Kristin Neff (self-compassion.org) has been a pioneer in the study of self-compassion for decades. To put it simply, self compassion is the process of turning compassion inward. Self-compassion is thinking about how you would speak kindly to a friend, and then speaking to yourself the same way. Self-compassion is choosing to be kind and understanding to ourselves rather than self-critical. Research has shown that practicing self-compassion is one of the most powerful coping mechanisms we can use. It’s also a source of coping that we can apply when we are grieving.

One of the key points that Dr. Neff makes about self-compassion is common humanity. When we view our individual experiences (and losses) as being part of the broader human experience, we practice common humanity. Part of this includes accepting and forgiving ourselves for our flaws, mistakes, regrets, and guilt, especially during grief. We all make mistakes and we all grieve. We are all connected.

Imagine a dear friend just lost someone or something incredibly special to him or her. Think about how you would respond to your friend. Would you tell her that it’s been long enough, and it’s time to get over it? Or would you tell her that you are deeply sorry for her loss and you are thinking of her during this tough time? Would you offer her empathy, compassion, and kindness?

You likely would. Now think about what it would look and feel like to turn the compassion you offered your friend inwardly. How does it feel to be nice to yourself, especially after a loss? How does it feel to show yourself the same empathy you show others?

During heavy and light seasons of life, it’s important to practice self-compassion. It’s essential to our overall happiness and well-being. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s okay – remember that it’s a practice, so it will take time to master. Please remember that you are worthy of the compassion and kindness that you show others.

OUR FREE GRIEF CARE PROGRAMS:

While feelings of grief are normal, handling them can be difficult and painful. Talking about what you are going through can help. Call 734.779.6690 to schedule an appointment, and visit www.askforangela.com to check out our grief support calendar with a detailed listing of upcoming support groups.

Recent Posts

Recent Posts

Celebrating World Music Therapy Week

Celebrating World Music Therapy Week

Apr 10, 2026

Music therapists across the globe are celebrating World Music Therapy Week to advocate for the benefits of music therapy to improve lives all over the world. While music may sound different from land to land, music has similarities in how we express our humanity.

Did you know most countries use music in play, to accompany work, tell stories of our ancestry or culture, support spiritual identities, celebrate, sooth babies, learn information (such as the alphabet song), support times of mourning, or for simple enjoyment? Music is an accessible companion that expresses who we are and validates our emotions. While music is in one sense is a universal language; it is in another sense deeply personal and effects each individual in a unique way.

read more
The RAIN Technique for Grief

The RAIN Technique for Grief

Apr 1, 2026

We’ve all heard the seasonal adage that “April showers bring May flowers.” Not only does the rain create an environment which enables spring flowers to bloom, but it also offers us a poignant reminder of the importance of self-compassion. If ever there were a time to be kind and compassionate with ourselves, it would be when we are grieving – and yet, we are often our own worst critics, telling ourselves stories about how we “should” grieve. We can be impatient with ourselves, believing that grief is taking “too long” or that we are grieving “incorrectly.” It can be hard to show up for ourselves with patience and a sense of self-compassion.

read more
Navigating New Roads

Navigating New Roads

Mar 31, 2026

In 1997, just three years after Angela Hospice’s Livonia Care Center opened its doors, Jim Jeziorowski met someone there who would change his life forever.

Having completed his internship as a hospice social worker, Jim was considering returning to the field. Georgine “Genie” Favazza was exploring the idea of volunteering as a clown to bring cheer to hospice patients. As it turned out, Genie decided not to volunteer, and Jim went on to work with troubled youth instead of hospice patients. But their meeting at Angela Hospice was fateful one – or maybe rather a faithful one.

read more