For many children, the holiday season is full of excitement—sparkling lights, special traditions, and moments of joy. But for children who are grieving the death of someone they love, the holidays can also bring feelings of sadness, longing, isolation, and confusion. Children may feel pressure to be happy when their hearts feel heavy, or they may worry that celebrating means they are forgetting the person who died.
Children grieve differently than adults. Their grief can come in waves—moments of playfulness followed by sudden tears or quiet reflection.
During the holidays, familiar traditions may feel different without the person they’re missing. The holiday season can intensify these feelings as reminders of their loved one appear in songs, decorations, family gatherings, or simple moments like setting the table. They may ask questions, feel anger or guilt, or simply feel “off” without knowing why, or struggle to find the appropriate words to express what they are feeling. What they need most is understanding, patience, and permission to feel whatever they feel—joy, sadness, or both.
One of the most meaningful ways to support grieving children during the holidays is to help them honor their loved one. Children need permission to laugh, to cry, to remember, and to celebrate—sometimes all in the same day. Supporting them might look like lighting a candle, baking their loved one’s favorite dessert, hanging a special ornament, or sharing stories and memories. This may even include continuing old traditions or helping them come up with new ones. These acts help children feel connected, included, and seen.
Grieving children don’t need the holidays to be perfect. They need them to be real. What matters most is helping them feel included, understood, and supported—allowing room for both grief and joy. Because during the holidays, children can carry their love and their loss together.
Because when children feel supported, understood, and remembered, healing becomes possible—even during the holidays.
